Definitely DOES Compute

The older I get, the less I feel like I need to apologize or hide from my inner most feels.  That being said, I am ready to admit that I totally have a crush.  It's one of those crushes you never realized you had until you get to reflecting and see it was there all along... just waiting for you to look back.  It came to me after my friend posted this video:

It's not the guy who's clearly a little too into it, it's Bill. Billy Gates.  He's just enjoying the party, keeping it low key, and giving me life with that skip and jump.  It's like watching the nerdiest dance of the seven veils, and Bill has me in a trance.

Needless that vid got a little bit more interested in if he's a cool dude, or if he was hot as a youth. Here is what I discovered:

YEP.  Gaze deep into those Windows to the soul.  I mean, he's not the typical babe, but he is hella cute.  He's the kind of cute that makes me want to just be ME.  He's the kind of guy who is gonna love me despite my middle school class pictures, or the fact that I worked at Hot Topic for a long period in high school.  Let's continue down this silkroad of cuteness...

GUHHHH!!!  So presh.  Maybe I've been working as an admin to an IT department for too long, but I'm into it.  Not only is he in it for the long haul with his one and only wife, Melinda, but he is super duper generous.  Just check out The Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation page and SWOON at the philanthropy.  There's just something about a person who has the chance to do something fantastic with a fortune, AND SEEING HIM OR HER ACTUALLY DO IT!!!  (Side note, Bill is worth around 77.2 Billion.) If it were me, I would probably be out in those mean streets trying to save feral cats who need a chance, or I would be trying to hang out with Beyonce and Blue Ivy.  But Bill is different and he is making the real difference.

SO HERE'S TO YOU, BILL.  CALL ME!

I Am The One Who Blogs, Bitch

Well, it finally happened to me.  I started watching Breaking Bad and I can't stop.  I never ever want it to end, and I'm getting really depressed because I only have 5 more episodes left.  I want to watch them all right now, but somehow I'm finding the strength to pace myself.  I'm deep in the Bad, and things are so freaking complicated. Sorry to all you suckers who watched it in real time, cause me, Walt, Jesse and my husband have a real thing going on right now and there's no going back.

(A note to future me:  Ray - don't forget how much you loved that time when nothing else mattered and all you cared about was how Walt hugged Jesse.)

So where do I start?  How do you blog about something that has taken over how you look at the world around you?  Let's start with Jesse Pinkman.  I don't know how to feel about thinking of a meth smoking drug dealer attractive, but as long as we're being honest... He's a babe.  Look-

I really appreciate Jesse.  It's like he tries to do right, but he just can't catch a break and he constantly sabotages himself.  Everything he gets close to falls apart, dies or completely blows up in his face.  I feel a common bond with the whole Murphy's Law lot in life and being totally bummed about it, and it also doesn't hurt that he has the best catch phrases on the show, yo.  I love you Jesse Pinkman, wherever you are.

And Walt.  Heisenberg.  No matter what he does or who he kills or how much meth he makes, he is always going to be a loser science teacher and that helps me appreciate how hard he works to become the heffa.  

Look at him.  He really is pretty bad-ass.  I have no idea what is going to happen to him either, but so far he is going next level.  Watching him do what he has to do and grasp his second chance to build an empire is pretty awesome.  I'm not saying what he does is great, exactly, but guy is dying from cancer but he doesn't ever stop.  It this crazy reality check that he's gonna die, I'm gonna die, everyone is gonna die.  It's just a matter of what you do with the time you have left, and a reminder that everyone is dealing with desperation in one way or another.  The difference is how you face it.  Love you too, Walt.

The only other character I really love is Walt, Jr.  He's too presh.  I could go on and on about Skylar, Hank, Marie, Saul and everyone else, but the point is I am now addicted and this is all I want to talk about forever.  Breaking Bad is so multi-layered and complex that one blog post could never do it justice.  So going forward I plan on judging people solely on how they feel about Breaking Bad.  YEAH BITCH.

Harajuku L-O-V-E

So it's been a while since I updated this blog.  I went through a "thing" where everything I considered blogging about seemed stupid or uninteresting and why would anyone care about reading this mess, but lately I have realized that everything on the internet is kind of stupid and that's why we are all here.  So from here on out I will just be posting on about what I have been wasting my time googling and/or doing.  In the words of the late and great Joan "The Baddest Bitch" Rivers, "If you don't like it, go to another shop."  So here we go -

Lately I have been getting super into Japanese subcultures - particularly what goes on in the future town of Harajuku.  There are so many levels of crazy with this fashion world I don't even know where to start.  So lets start at the very beginning (I've heard it's a very good place to start lulz):

Harajuku is in Tokyo.  I've never been there but I am pretty confident in saying that Japan is in the future.  You know how time is just a human concept and does not exist in the grand scheme of things?  Like the idea that God created the world in 6 "days" but by our dumb human measurements that could have taken like, 1,000 years?  Well I'm thinking this concept applies to Japan.  It is on the other side of the world and they are 14 hours ahead of us.  WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING IN THAT 14 HOURS TO MAKE THIS JAPAN'S REALITY?!?!?!

 

So this is normal in this town.  This is all an option for how to get ready in the morning in Japan.   How old are these people?  Do you have jobs?  Is this acceptable "business casual" attire there?  I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS.  Whatever it is, I like it a lot.  I think it give a whole new meaning to the idea of "just rocking" your own individual style and look.  And it's not all clowns, homeless goth and hello kitty acid trip.  Apparently there are different categories of street style with specific looks, and they are all just as insane as you would imagine. You can find folks putting on their literal Sunday best and promenading around town.  This is the day of the week where you show everyone what you've got.  I'm not gonna do every single one because those waters run deep, but here are some choice selections:

#1 - COSPLAY

This is the easiest one - it's Costume Play.  This is when you just dress up like your favorite fantasy characters from comics or movies or games and then acting the part.  Here is USA we have kids who do that too and they can be found in your local high school cafeteria before and after school playing Magic the Gathering.  No judging.  Just reporting the facts.  Here are some choice jewels from this selection of style:

That last one was special and I had to include it.  I wonder if he's pretending to be Sailor Moon or Minnie Mouse.  Whatever it is, let's all try to get on his level.  But look at the other ones!  How long do you think it took them to put that together?  That's dedication. Way more than the kids we have here who just put on a cape and carry a foam covered battle sword their mom made them while probably crying to herself.


#2 - LOLITA
This one is a personal fave of mine.  It's a mixture of Victorian style and either overly-feminine, carnival-esque or goth tones.  It's super modest with everything from stockings to parasols to petticoats to covering head to toe.  It's like future Pride and Prejudice or something equally as bad A.  It's so over the top exaggerated and odd.  It's very baby-doll ish and I am having a very hard time figuring out where these girls are getting such elaborate clothing and how old they are.  Let's put it this way, I'm getting a real Jonbenet Ramsey feel off some of them. Too soon? Not sorry.

 

#3 - GANGURO

This one blows my mind apart.   This word is roughly translated as "black face" and is trying to simulate the western California girl look.  There is fake tan, white eyes with heavy liner, orange-dyed hair, and jewels and stickers and bangles OH MY.  It has it's own subculture called YAMANBA or "mountian hag" where they have basically brown faces.  I'm just gonna give you pics.  I don't know what to even say...

 

This is just a taste of what Harajuku has to offer you.  I highly recommend googling "VISUAL KEI" "GYARU" and "PUNK" Harajuku fashion for more visual delights.   If anything, this has all taught me that life is too short not to try new looks.  In it's honor, I have dyed a chunk of my hair purple and painted my nails black.  That's about as far as I have the guts to take it.

Don't I know You From Somewhere?

So I found myself awake at 2:00 AM a few nights ago.  I could NOT get back to sleep, and that's things got weird on the internet.  It all started when I got to googling random things like real faces of random dead people.  Before you start judging me based on how upsetting and super weird this sounds, remember there is a digital trail of bread crumbs that IS your search history.  I also watch enough true-crime based television to know that can and will be used against you the moment you slip up.   So just go along with this like it's normal behavior.  I promise it's worth it. 

Basically there's this thing that's been happening throughout history where molds are made of dead (and sometimes live) peoples faces.  These are generally the faces of famous or historically important folks.  Then there's a mold made of the face and we "normies" can forever know what that famous person looked like in real life.  A FAMOUS DEAD FACE FROZEN IN TIME.  They also did it before the golden age of photography so unidentified dead people could be identified before they started to decompose.  It makes so much sense that I am into this.  When I was a kid, I lived for everything Egyptian.  Turns out some of those mummy masks were sometimes made from molds of faces.  Does the name King Tut ring a bell??  Apparently this is his real time face... well his face minus those chola eyebrows.

So fastforward to my late 20's, and I discover death masks.  I cannot describe how cool this is. The most sad/romantical/sweet story is about L'Inconnue de la Seine, a young girl who committed suicide and her mold was so sweet and beautiful that it became the inspiration for a lot of things including CPR dummy faces.  Here is a to the wiki page.  How beautiful is it that in her death came the ability to save so many lives???  And all because of the coyness and serenity of her death mask cast.

So this is just a taste of the gold mine that is death masks.  I am just going to post a few of my favorites because I could go on forever about all these things. 

Mary Queen of Scots

Oliver Cromwell

Dante

Benjamin Franklin

John Keats (BABE ALERT)

Lincoln

Fun fact, apparently by examining the mask of Lincoln lead scientists to discover Lincoln had some kind of painful syndrome that would have killed him had he not gotten assassinated. 

There are so many more I want to post like Napoleon, Alfred Hitchcock, George Washington (his is a life mask), Beethoven and Tolstoy, but I will spare you and just give you some priceless links.  You're welcome.

http://www.kuriositas.com/2012/01/death-masks-of-famous.html

http://www.undyingfaces.com/info/death-mask-history/

http://itthing.com/life-and-death-masks-of-famous-people

http://www.biography.com/blog/famous-death-masks 

multiple mucosal  neuroma syndrome.mfdsfsdfdsfsdfsfdsfsdfsdfdsf

multiple mucosal  neuroma syndrome.

multiple mucosal  neuroma syndrome.

 

Be Still... my Eastern Heart

Ok this entry has nothing to do with things intellectual or literary, but you're gonna like this.  So, I've been going through a real "thing" lately where I'm 29 and trying to define myself spiritually.  Shocking, right?  BASICALLY that means I'm doing a lot of yoga now and buying Buddhist prayer flags while on vacation.  Stop judging me for living your dream. 

This is all to say I've really been crushing lately on George Harrison.  Not early mop top clean shaven side eye George as seen here (who is still a real babe):

No.  This is too obvious and as I said, I am looking to really cross defining lines at this stage in my quarter life crisis.  Right now I need more of this:

What do I have to do to get a guru like him?  George crosses cultural barriers and keeps it sexy.  He was totally underrated and it only makes this a better crush for the Blue Stocking woman who appreciates the unappreciated.  I mean, look at him!!! The stash, the spirit, the henna.  IT'S LIKE HE CAN SEE MY SOUL'S YEARNING AND HE WANTS ME TO REACH ENLIGHTENMENT WITH HIM.  George doesn't let his fame or status define him.  He just catches the next flight to India and plays the sitar til everything makes sense. 

I promise that at some point I'll start posting things about what I read or what makes a woman legit in the literary universe, but until then I'm pretty contented with giving you a little high-thinking eye candy to get you through those lonely nights.  Again... you're welcome

Blue Stocking Crush #1

Let's get started with the inspiration behind the name of this blog, Mr. Osborne of Hamley Hall.  He is one of the main characters in the BBC mini-series, Wives & Daughters, and one of the main fictional loves of my life.  I have my sweet husband to thank for introducing me to this series, and if we're being honest it's one of the reasons I fell in love with him and took his name.  ANYWAY... This series has everything a Blue Stocking lives for:  British Accents, Drama, Betrayal, True Love, Wealthy Land Owning Aristocrats, and that's just the beginning!  

I'll spare you the details and cut right to the chase... Osborne Hamley is the embodiment of a perfect romantic tragedy, and he deserves a place in EVERY Blue Stocking's heart.  His character strays away from the familiar Victorian gentleman and takes things to a whole new level.  You guys... HE IS A POET WHO HAS A SECRET LOVE AFFAIR WITH A FRENCH NANNY!!!  When discussing women and literary interests, Osborne proclaims, "I stand up for blue-stockings." 

Basically Osborne trusts you with his deepest darkest secrets, and supports your right as a woman to expand your literary horizons despite Victorian expectations.  He probably wrote a poem for you while he was in Metz, where he was happiest.  Osborne does everything he does out of love and for that he will always have my blue-stocking heart.  

Just do yourself a favor and watch Wives & Daughters.  YOU'RE WELCOME!

You're gonna love me!

Welcome to Stand Up For Blue Stockings, a blog inspired by all things clever and wonderful.  I hope it's the best thing to happen to you today!